#this is not a dnd hat quote

[winter-wise]

His autistic manner and prowess in battle have captivated me.

[reaperofravens]

Edgin: Fuck!

Doric: Language.

Xenk: Common.

[hmslusitania]

Deleted Scenes from the Underdark

Ed: ugh that guy is the worst I can’t believe I’m gonna sleep with him

Holga: I mean, you don’t have to

Ed: no, I’m gonna

Xenk: heard that too ☺️

[ivyontheholodeck]

Holga: You can always trust Ed to wear his heart on his sleeve.

Xenk, concerned: That is a strategically foolish and physiologically difficult location to keep one’s heart. Is he perhaps undead?

[toasterdrake]

Edgin: Did you buy eggs like I asked?

Doric: Even better!

Edgin: What the fuck did you-

Doric: *holding up a chicken* Her name is Fluffy.

[ghosteso]

My partner and I where talking about Edgin so credit to this incorrect quote goes to them but it was to funny not to share. It started out with how much Edgin would like ABBA and dissolved into this. Love you @kindacrazyfox

Holga: We need a distraction

Simon: I used all my spell slots

Doric: I can’t wildshape anymore today

Edgin: I got this

Holga: Edgin. What are you

Edgin: *gets on table and spotlight casts on him* You are... my fire... my one.. desire. believe when I say. I want it that way TELL ME WHY aint nothing but a heartache!

Holga: We are all gonna die..

[aetherictree]

Xenk: You're all monsters.

Xenk: Except you Doric, you're an angel and we're glad you're here.

[iffeelscouldkill]

HOW IS THIS SO ACCURATE sgshdhhdhdjgsgd

incorrect dnd:hat | 1/?

[dovakiinwitcher]

Batfamily As Interactions With My Own Siblings

- Call and response with quotes or song lyrics. Dick and/or Steph use this most often since most of their siblings are angsty (Jason, Tim, Damian, Cass), so this forces them to acknowledge them. To not respond is of the HIGHEST offense.

- Sometimes Damian, or Cass, will come flying out of nowhere to surprise attack one of their siblings. Frankly, all of them do this, but those two are most common. Poor Duke is always the most caught off guard, in spite of his powers.

- Tim is almost always the last one down for dinner. Sometimes, he doesn’t even come down until after everyone else has eaten. Alfred is always kind enough to leave a plate for him to reheat. One time, he found that plate on the floor beneath a laundry basket that was propped up by a stick, cartoon-trap style. His siblings were hiding around the corner, watching him intently.

- Jason sometimes gets distracted in the bathroom, picking at scabs or old scars on his face in the mirror. His siblings (particularly Damian) get really pissed if they've heard the toilet flush and still have to wait for ten minutes to use the bathroom. (Jason has pointed out that there are other bathrooms. This doesn't prevent him from getting yelled at.)

- Duke has been known to go on fierce literary rants to Jason. Most recently about a certain shitty book he had to read for school.

- Tim started a DnD campaign with Dick, Barbara, and Duke. The party got sidetracked going undercover as an "exterminator" company, and helping a poor milliner jumpstart her hat business (don't ask how those were related). Tim is scared that they may have completely forgotten their original quest.

- Sometimes Steph forgets who she's told something to, and will repeat information to people who've already heard this from her.

- Jason, on the other hand, will forget what he HAS been told by people, and infuriates people with his questions of things he's already "had this conversation about."

- Bruce has repeatedly told Damian that Batcow is not a house pet. Nonetheless, he's found Damian in his room reading a book to his cow several times.

- Dick and Jason have reenacted many YouTube videos on patrols, from quoting back and forth to one another, to performing dangerous parkour stunts.

- Damian once tried to strangle Jason after he won Unstable Unicorns by almost exclusively trolling Damian and preventing him from gaining a final unicorn five times in a row. In one game. Damian has still not forgiven him.

- Jason once offered Tim a hit of his cigarette. Dick later found out and flipped his shit.

- The kitchen is a hazardous place to be. The kids pretend to stab each other a lot.

- Jason communicates primarily through saying either "I'll kill you," or "I'd rather die." Although sometimes, when someone's talking (typically Steph or Dick), he'll randomly interject to say, "you're a [insert obscure twist of their words]."

- For example, Steph was once vacuuming the rug with a very old vacuum and said, "this vacuum would be terrible at cocaine." Jason replied from the couch, not looking up from his book, "you're a terrible cocaine vacuum."

- The siblings binged the Chernobyl HBO series in one night. Right off the bat, Damian went on a rant about how irresponsible the guy committing suicide was for not finding his cat a new home first and just leaving out food. He also had to leave the room during the dog part in later episodes. When Dick was sent to tell him it was over, he was found with his face buried in Titus and/or Ace's fur.

- On a lighter note, Jason commentated over many of the really heavy parts of that documentary, making it way funnier than it was supposed to be. Sometimes he genuinely argued with the TV.

- There is a quote book of obscure things they've said out of context. Here are some excerpts:

"Haha, losers, imagine having parents." - Jason

"And that's why child labor is good and justifiable." - Steph

"They really underestimate my stabbing abilities." - Damian

"This jacket is vegan leather. Which means I skinned a vegan and turned them into a jacket." - Cass

"That's how my brain works; it doesn't." - Tim

"But we're stressful together." - Dick

"As Thomas the Tank Engine once said: chuga chuga choo choo, I'm a sexy dinosaur." - Also Dick

"If you wouldn't have been killed by Nazis, are you even an interesting person?" - Duke

"Alright, shit pisser, let's rumble." - Jason

"Keep your rabid animal away from my crab legs." - Barbara

- Barbara has a tendency to play true crime podcasts while she works. People only ever seem to walk in during the weirdest parts. She doesn't feel the need to explain herself; she finds the looks on their faces hilarious.

- The household Alexa will respond to Dick unprompted, and it genuinely freaks him out. It doesn't do that for anyone else, and he thinks it's out to get him. This is why he has a Google at home in Blüdhaven instead.

- Jason isn't the most hygienic person, which concerns the family sometimes. Dick had learned that when he visits wherever Jason is living at the moment and "oops, forgets" his shampoo or body wash or whatever, Jason will end up using it. Jason has caught on, but will never openly admit that he's grateful for it.

- Dick will ruffle Damian's hair out of affection. Tim will do it to piss him off.

- Tim and Damian often kick each other without any other interaction. Bruce finds it troubling. Dick reminds him that he and Jason used to do the same thing (mainly Jason kicking Dick).

- When Tim and Steph play video games, it's not uncommon for Steph to hijack a car just to try to run Tim over while he tries to do side quests.

- Cass is the Super Smash Bros champion. And the Mario Kart champion. And tends to carry everyone when playing multi-player. Mostly because Steph tries to sabotage them at every corner, and only Cass is able to adapt.

I may do more of these, but I didn't want this to be TOO long.

[the-thing-in-the-dark]

🐛 Noa's 200 follower event 🐛

🍄 intro post 🍄

🥺 tysm to the 200 lovely people who decided to follow this shitty blog

send me as many asks as you want idc my inbox is literally covered in cobwebs at this point and i'm actually organised and have less work now so i'm bored

sorry i got a bit carried away with the backstory lol

You are exploring the forest and come to a clearing with many weird plants and animals. Echo, the Phantom Whisperling that's been following you around since you discovered it, chirps from under your hat, wondering why you stopped. You are an explorer and you are documenting many undiscovered flora and fauna of the Forgotten Woods. Certain plants an animals are hard to find. If this is your first time you can only find a limited number of plants - no animals. If you have explored before but not the Forgotten Woods, you can find all the plants - but only some of the animals. If you are a seasoned explorer and have been to the Forgotten Woods before, you can document all the plants and all the animals. Which plant or animal do you document first (if you can find it)?

🌱First timers (followers)🌱

🍄🌌: Phantom Glowcaps

I'll give you a really weird fun fact

🌿🌒: Moon shade Ferns

I'll drop some lore about the Forgotten Woods

🌙🕯️: Ebonfall Blooms

I'll give you a weird/creepy quote from me or one of my books

🐾Explored before (mutuals)🐾

🐦‍⬛🔮: Spectral Shadowcrow

I'll describe your blog in three words

🪻🪬: Gloomveil Blossoms

I'll make you a playlist that suits your blog's vibe (i don't hv spotify so keep that in mind)

🦊🌲: Forestflame Faerie

I'll make you a moodboard based on your blog/vibe

🫎Seasoned explorers (close mutuals or ik u irl)🫎

🦌🌫️ : Wraithglow Stag

I'll make your explorer persona as a DnD player

🐆🌧️ : Stormfeather Leopard

I'll write you a letter on why I love you + I'll give you a nickname

🦅🌪️ : Whirlwind Harpy

I'll drop some crazy/weird/funny lore about me. I don't have that much so the first three people who request this one will get it. (2/3)

💀Ask me anything (everyone) 💀

🦝 : Echo!!!

Ask me anything and I'll answer it

Remember mutuals can access anything in followers and close mutuals can access anything in mutuals and followers as well as their own sections. I stole the divider from canva and all the images from pinterest. This will end when it is not pinned.

tagging all my mutuals because it's been a week and this has like 8 notes

@moutainrusing @delusionaltogether @annabannnananana @shipspainfulships @whydontyourealize-viennawaits4u

@onlyinitforthefandoms @ashes-to-ashesxx @y-o-n-t-a @pastels-and-chaos @lilythefirst819x

@totalcharliespringsimp @moonysm @bartyjrsevan @thatdambreadcat @prongsbitch

@bleep-bloop-boo @ivysfandoms @pangothepangolin @mentally-unstable-childofhades @im-ur-sleep-paralysis-demon

@noahher @bonksyoucutely @yourlocalbadgerscales @last-great-all-american-bitch @moonyswarmsweaters

@mo0ns-and-stars @winnienora14 @undergroundglendower @lovemike0 @enbysiriusblack

@ros3kill3r @beauty-queen-official @reggiesswimteacher @the-marauders-are-ghosts @a-great-tragedy

@prideandfanfics18 @wastingawayinmyroom @cheekyboybeth @sunnysolace7 @gems-and-jewels

@hehenorahhehe @stars-on-my-bedroom-ceiling @zombie404 @hunterofartemis-12 @anything-for-my-moony-1971

@onlytenstarsinthesky @fiveguysshake @regulus-cannot-swim @ddanthedumbass @damsnackbar03

@reggiesswimminginstructor @williamgayers @fangirlghost-19 @blueandyellow7 @martukyymm

@im-on-crack-send-help @thearcher1003 @liggy-not-potter @queerthirsttrap @piedpiperlikesthings

@outromoony @garden-of-runar @obsessedwith15deadwizards @lilcri84b1 @cafffeineconnoisseur

@wishiknew224 @daydream-of-a-wallflower @swiftlybyler @throwbackgaylor @james-potter-yall

@chaserofstars11 @rudamaruda520 @marylily-my-beloved @thedvilsinthedetails @jamespotterbbg

@onlymelonlyy @ratsinpots @idk-what-to-put-here-123 @discoveredreality @mysticalthingphantom

@starchaserandsunseeker @notmybabies @vampiregirlsblog @byler-invested @androgynous-bhajipav

@miseryoforpheus @ghostofyourvampiregf @besthingiveverdone @rhettaisokay @rhysthedarkforestfey

@p3arlsgardenn @dakarihopsrealities @staringathesunbabe @pumpkin-gizzards @themortalityofundyingstars

@morninggloryrising @longtallglasses @deadchaoticcosmos @stranger-theory @ollieolioly

@gaysforbyler @greentealycheejelly @leodores @my-beloved-fandoms @imaddticedtobyler

@my-castles-crumbling @internal-organs58 @questionablebookmouse @the-lionsheart @normal-is-a-raging-psychopath

@starpupsys @supercitofus @willbyerslove @strawberrybyers @wakeupthemembersofbylernation

@justremuslupininamask @sweetronancer @willbyersoffical @e-reblogs @bylertruth3r

@fire-but-ashes-too

[winter-wise]

They said "Here's Xenk, he's god's most autistic soldier. He's beautiful." and they were right

[reaperofravens]

Edgin: Xenk…

Xenk: Ah, my name in b-flat. You are disappointed.

[sidecharactersdomatter]

Thoughts I had during TGCF S2 Ep 2

Also watching this while sketching now here we go!

Previously on TGCF… 

-And starting off at the Gambler’s Den!

-Hey you’ve heard the old saying, “It costs an arm and a leg” I think this fits perfectly for the red demon masked gambler

-Hey! No getting sweat on the gambling table!

-Hua Cheng: No Thanks~ *fans myself with a hand*

-Yeah those are the best house policies San Lang

-Man, the loop braided ghost assistant is literally all of us fawning over Hualian amirite? (that Ghost maiden is going places!)

-This den operates on Hubris Logic

-Stop decreasing your child’s lifespan!

-Now Roll!  That just made think of DND, I dunno why

-Those dice weren’t loaded (Anybody seen Road to El Dorado 10/10 totes recommend)

-Worst dad I’ve ever seen and he’s just a gambling NPC

-Hehehe Just imagine Toph in the Gambler’s Den (For those anticipating The Scrap Immortal and the Avatar, I’m afraid that’s going to be a scene that won’t come to fruition, really sry readers)

-“It’s despicable, and that’s coming from a ghost like me” that was a really great quote ngl

-Kinda hard to accomplish since you were talking to a ghost

-Yep prolly the worst Dad I’ve ever seen in all of TGCF

-Hi Rouye

-Hi Windmaster

-Honestly, the reason they have Qingxuan switch from Male to female in this season is that from a Union Standpoint, they had to allow Anjali Kunapaneni dub other series while Jacob Eiseman took over and vice versa.  That’s just my theory, I’m not sure if it might be true.

-Aw, he’s worried over his complexion

-Man, Xie Lian’s expression shifts as he inspects Qinqxuan’s complexion.  I love that little attention to detail in the animation.

-And then Qingxuan happily exclaims while putting both hands on his cheek was 100% precious!

-“If I were a mirror where would I be” they have the best lines of this Season 2 so far!

-Wind Master laugh is clearing my pores

-Hi Qianqiu, Hi Mengyou

-Not so smart to me

-All the ghosts have really unique and distinct designs (it’s that kind of uniqueness I’m trying so hard to capture in my TOH Oc murder mystery au)

-“Aw man!  What was his number!  Not cool Taihua!” - Literally every ghost in the Gambler’s den, and also me.

-Well, you’re not wrong, Qianqiu

-Hehehe the double facepalm XD

-Not the brightest candle on the altar

-Let’s face it, we all lost it during Hua Cheng soft chuckle!

- He noticed the laugh!

-Man the background ghost voices are on point

-And I’m like at Qingxuan, “You didn’t read the signs?” Does anybody other than the ghosts, read the signs???

-“He might be fine if he doesn’t reveal who he is” Qianqiu: *reveals who he is* Too soon dude

-That blue masked ghost woman sure has sass

-That blue beaked ghost also has a cool design tho

-Don’t mind me just fanning myself whenever Hua Cheng speaks cause it gives me the vapors~!

-The fact that they thought the same thing!

-No not the gambling table!  

-Woah he sent it right back!

-This is infinitely better than the live action martial acts films I’ve seen in my whole life

-It’s like a stake raising tennis match

-That glow in his eyes

-He’s going Super Saiyan

-That animation really did get better

-“He’s stuck up there!” My comment: “Like a fly on fly paper” My sister’s comment: “Like an idiot on idiot paper” lmao

-Yep just point and laugh ghosts, point and laugh

-You mean from bad to worse

-I told you Ghost City’s the Las Vegas of Ancient China, told ya~

-A new table!

-You’re not wrong on luck

-Snake eyes is even worse

-“Like I said, biggest is so overdone!  Crazy idea, what if smallest wins? Sound fun?”  Qingxuan is spitting bars in the dub people!

-They’re just gonna believe that from two newcomers?

-Xie Lian, internally chanting: “Small…small…small…” His cursed and horrible misfortune: LOL nope :3

-Not your fault for looking like a snack Qianqiu

-Wait till you see the fandom, Taihua

-Alright, hat got Hua Cheng enticed

-Literally everybody witnessing a man in white robes desperately shake a pair of dice: Is…that guy ok?

-His smile widened!

-“I can’t watch!”  I can and it’s gonna be something!

-Oh he sees a lot in that raggedy jerk than you do right now buddy

-“What’s there to teach about shaking dice?  It’s just shakin dice!”  The best random quote of this episode, and the tone when that side character said it!

-“And you’re the expert!” He got sassed back

-*Hears Hong Lian Qian starting up like* Aw yeah, the best song of the new season! *Vibes out with writing and sketching like no tomorrow*

-Dude! Pass me the Aux cord!  You better not be playing mainstream garbage!  *Casually plays Hong Lian Qian like a G!*  WOO!!!

-There he is, just a red transparent curtain keeps them apart, also Hua Cheng’s status but let’s not get ahead of ourselves

-The wind animation!!!, and Wind master’s not even summoning it

-Literally when my older sister first saw this scene she was like: It’s the pottery scene from Ghost

-He rolled an 11!

-If my underaged TGCf OCs witness the infamous dice scene like in season 2, Qing Tao and Chun Xue(both 12) look up to their older friends: “..ssShould we be listening to this?”  And then Lan Hai and Nuan Yu (both 14) frantically respond with covering their younger friends’ ears: “…pProbably best if we played it safe.” (Quotes are from an episode of Close Enough) heck I can imagine the Gaang reacting like this witnessing the dice shaking too, just swap Qing Tao and Chun Xue with Aang and Toph, and Lan Hai and Nuan Yu with Sokka and Katara, (Zuko would also try to cover the Southern Water Tribe Sibs’ ears, but this hypothetical scene also won’t happen in my TGCF x ATLA xover, now back to the reaction!)

-The singing really is timed well with the animation!  10/10 baby!

-“You see, it’s bigger now” …I got the joke

-“It’s starting to feel like San Lang is just teasing me” Oh yes he is~

-They’re chucking their dice at him!

-It’s a 10!

-“Now I’m sure San Lang is just teasing me”  Told ya~

-The chibi scene!

-Welp, looks like those rolls were just practice rolls

-You gotta love Xie Lian’s internal monologue

-Qingxuan chucked his fan at Taihua, and it came back like Sokka��s boomerang (I had to make that reference!)

-That tapir/baku headed Ghost

-It’s a 12, and it timed well with the rising crescendo!

-That one monkey like ghost

-Right on the gambling table!

-Did he cheat?

-The music change!!!  The soundtrack team knew what they were doing!

-“Who cares it’s gorgeous!  He’s so handsome I think I might just die right here!”  “What are you talking about?  You’re already dead!”  That was a really great exchange!

-And he is seeing his real face!

-“Please my lord don’t tease me!”  Oh yes he will~!

-Now the ghosts are suspicious it took em like half an episode!

-Hey guys I think we’re all gonna get a kick outta this, “The stale half eaten bun from Ep 5 was in Xie Lian’s sleeve the whole time!”  I’ve always wanted to quote that, and it was totally worth it!

-Man, I can’t wait to write Aang’s reaction seeing Xie Lian and Hua Cheng interact together!

-“Um, I’m afraid it’s gotten a bit hard” Yep, they slipped that in, and James was a boss at writing the whole english script for the season

-He tosssed the bun up and down like San Lang did with a small piece of a broken sword in S1 Ep 6, the parallels people!  The parallels!!!

-And him biting the stale bun got XL all flustered! AAAHH!!!

-Look at him go!

-Not that random stand, wait it’s still in tact

-Slay that performance Qingxuan!

-Chide him good!

-And Xie Lian’s still does a great job as a strategizer and a mediator

-The introduction that would change the season forever, also Qingxuan’s emotion shift when it came to describing his new friend’s current occupation with collecting scraps as a living

-He knew San Lang was Hua Cheng?!?!?!

-Hua Cheng is messing with them!

-They’re using him as bait!

-Oh yeah, that’s right, they’re friends

-Geez savage, Wind master

-Hey, no dissing Ling Wen she’s doing her best!

-Gone from Season 1 eps 2-3 and Ling Wen still couldn’t find him???

-Welp, there’s the cliffhanger

Does this reaction count for Hua Cheng’s B-Day?  More reactions will be on the way, I’ve got 3 weeks left of my quarter and I’ve got two big projects to finish so hang tight everyone!

[transgaypiratesanta]

so I’ve seen some posts of quotes from the oxventure, and OH BOY. I have full-on NOTES about the oxventure and every piece of canon and fan theories I can get my grubby little paws on, AND I HAVE A LOT OF QUOTES. SO…. HAVE FUN WITH THESE!

DND

“Spicy… like a rat.”

“You asked the whales name?” “I’m just thoughtful like that.”

“Always check your bonfires for hedgehogs.”

“Needless to say Cthulhu is pleased and lunch is ruined”

“Oh no the cube! Not the cube!”

“He looks like dob but somehow evil and sexy”

“Nooooo… my mojo…”

“Oh you totally give the baby a dagger!” “That’s parenting 101”

“I flinch greasily.”

“Guys be real are we murder hobo’s?”

“I just wanna say I’m really proud of the amount of murder we’ve done.”

“Have you heard of the guild of the national trust?”

“Oo man I can’t wait to get redemption let’s kill everyone.”

“Do you have pamphlets?” “Let’s bore them to death!”

“Decisive action: throw that cat.”

“I have a moral objection but I’m going to let it happen because this seems cool.”

“🎵it’s getting hot in here. And they will all explode🎵”

“I lick the book and I am pleased”

“I know a lot of my plans revolve around watching dob sleep”

“Shut your filthy mouth Corazon”

“Let’s have a spooky sleepover.”

“Nature is beautiful.” “It sure was”

“+4! +2! +2! NUMBERS!”

“It’s not on fire or anything!” “Not yet, give me time!”

“We’re gonna have a sleepover in this crypt!”

“It couldn’t have been me-meant? If it wasn’t already… broked. That’s what I’ve always said”

“🎵maaaagic hand! Come out of my real hand!🎵”

“Wear whatever you want! Your bones, probably.”

“Their prudence hat”

“Is it orphans? You gotta tell us if it is.” “Ah. It’s orphans boss.”

“Skeletons… AHHHHHH”

“I love these loophole skeletons!”

“I would like to attempt to cast mend on the orphans”

“We just want less orphan juice”

“I’m imagining you making a snowman out of orphan paste”

“Oooo Skeletons be dexterous”

“We’re all team skeleton just some of us have flesh on top”

“I never liked you Kevin”

“Guys I’m not not in trouble”

“And then I turn the internal heat dial to cremation”

“BETTER OUT THAN IN DOES NOT APPLY TO ORGANS”

“MY ORGANS!”

“Do you want a vomit hug?”

“I’m putting my foot down on the husks.” “But then they’d just burst!”

“Is it bad that bear me wants to eat the husks? No I won’t I’ll be good”

“And I’m trying desperately to remain eye contact with HER, and not look at you guys swimming around in sandwiches”

“It’s in runes or something what is that?” “That’s a seven.”

“The consequences! They’re here again!”

“Meowwww” “I DONT KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!”

“Awh. And I’ve got his BOOTS!”

“Dob what did I tell you about necromancy?”

“Let’s put capitalism in the lake!”

“We can always claim it’s the fireworks show!” “NOT IF WE’RE DEAD!”

“Dogs are bound in skin!”

“MERILWEN THERES A BEAR! GO TURN INTO A BEAR OR FIGHT IT… or marry it… or something”

“Have we tried to befriend the footprints?” “Talk to the footprints!”

“Two very impulsive boi’s”

“Grease man from the ocean”

“Respectfully yeet him off the mountain.” “A somber yeet”

“If I was in something for 2 years”

“I saw the holes on the front and thought ‘that must be all the holes’ but then I looked on the back and there was ANOTHER HOLE THERE!”

“What are you dreaming about?” “Salmon.”

“Oh no they’ll take over the world with inexpensive furniture!”

“Break his spirit.” “And his back 😈”

“3 dimensional chess is just chess!”

“AUGH. OH YES. BISQUE 😩”

“What’s in this drawer? Dob? Oh no that’s a paperclip.” 

“Person in charge of the Prudence mech”

“🎵yees I’m the best at thunderwave turns out!🎵”

“My shin!” “My Shin!” “… our Shin.”

“DID YOU JUST SUGGEST MERILWEN COMMIT AUTOCANNIBALISIM IN BEAR FORM?”

“I’m just a chicken walking around with a flameblade”

“🎵Eleanor rigbee, lived in a hive because she was a bee. Whooedy whee!🎵”

“The pirate. Didn’t. Say that.”

“This is the energy in the room we’re all going to regret later” “says that of the orphanage.” “I regretted it later!”

“Though he could discover spoons at any point”

“Phase one: walk to crime. Phase two: do crime”

“I’ll just do it and be a legend”

“In a way we’re already married in a very deep and legal way.” “For tax purposes.”

“Why is there so much tentacle milk here?”

“You just hear anarchy noises from out the window”

“We’re running out of time before he murders us accidentally with an idiom” “with beans”

“I’m buying ecstasy from an owl?”

“The sounds of muffled pirate violence”

“She might just destroy the world, which is where we keep all our stuff!”

“I faint.” “Okay dob’s having a short rest” “OH YEAH!”

“Thick orange hot water”

“She’s got the cutest little forces of darkness 🥰”

“As the Druid, no.” “As the dm, INSPIRATION!”

“I cast shatter on the only planet we have”

“I cast fracking”

“WE. ARE. COASTAL!”

“The eldrich being Flannery”

“We’re fracking landlords”

“Now we leave you and see if you go buduhduhduhduh”

“Cattle go missing, we never find out what happens to all the Harris’s” “season over.”

“It’s practically a victimless crime, unless there’s a victim, in which case hopefully it’s a hard to trace crime”

“I grease Merilwen to give her the best chance”

“WHY AM I DYING?”

“Because you told me to piss off!” “So you did THIS?” “yeah” “I HAVE MINUTES TO LIVE!” 

“How’s the shat?”

“I cast mending on our friendship 🥺”

“How does a jackle… lift a bunch of cars?” “I don’t know.” “You jack ‘em all.” *weird laughter*

“Yes. No more pain where you’re going friend. No, you’re not very nice actually.”

“Well, solved the Richard problem!” “But what about the Dob problem”

“It’s very demeaning, so okay.”

“Well no Millie or ori that is obviously not okay. Little idiot.”

“Oh I HATE nature”

“Who wants in on my corpse sled idea?”

“Dob.” *quiet laughter* “oh no.”

“I give them an appraising look as if sizing up their corpses”

“I am literally everyone else in the world which means I am the best at sighing crying sad goodbying to my plot, the npc’s, the sanctity of lore…”

“These patrons aren’t gonna lick themselves!”

“Ohhhh it’s a sex thing.”

“Rule 3 no kink shaming.” “Damn right.”

“He drifts out the door… to go find something to kiss.”

“WAIT! I’ve had a thought! I want to kiss the dragon man.”

“Well. You’ve effed this right up Dob.”

“Well, if you’re dreaming about that, it’s probably out to get you.” “Every time you sleep, it gets a little bit closer.”

“It is always agonising Johnny!”

“Let me use my bonus action to slip in my own grease”

“All things must drink. I say wisely, and inaccurately”

“You take 4 points of… becoming soup damage”

“It occurs to all of you, and pardon my infernal, this is a shit idea.”

“Why do i have find steed if it’s not a rodeo?”

“I cough up some hemp and rope.” “Oh perfectly horrifying! Sure, yeah.”

“We never elected a leader!” “How could you talk to your leader like that?”

“I like turning into a cat all the time, the problem is I can’t do it.”

“that horny crew member sticks his head out to watch”

“So it’s slightly uncomfortable… and you outlive all your lovers… sounds like a good thing!”

“I wish to arrest Cthulhu now start screaming”

BLADES IN THE DARK

“Sir we’re in an antique shop.”

“What a great excuse to do some crime, though!”

“Nothing bad has ever happened to me in my entire life, I don’t think it’s going to start now!”

“Is it meant to be on fire? Because it’s on fire.”

“ITS A MASTERCLASS! It’s not a masterclass…”

“Classic squiffy, what a lad.”

“Hey! I need you to do me a favour! Well I say a favour, I’m compelling you.”

“We do a literal hitman, as in you run up, and hit the man.”

“He’ll live, but not well.”

“Spinning tops in places you don’t want them”

“I want a ghost who’s obsessed with me!”

“Everyone’s going out the front door! I’m just gonna set the house on fire!”

“Here’s what happens Barnaby, you glorious liability.”

“Have you heard about this thing called a union?” “… Let’s montage the rest of this conversation”

“Roll me for ‘Dave? Dave!’”

“Barbaby and workers rights are on the opposite end on the political spectrum”

“It’s not apoplectic with rage, it’s apoplectic with being right.”

“Fresh fish!” “Lovely crimes!”

“It’s going terribly here in the present! Maybe it went better in the past!” “Let’s retreat to the safety of the past.”

“I didn’t want to taste the sweat of the poor in the air!”

“So you want to be a nice, clean, sanitised butcher?”

“It’s like riding a bike” “a violent bike” “it’s like punching a bike”

“I came here to study ghosts, not become one!” “Imagine how much study you could do if you became one!” “I can’t hold pens!”

“The gilded idiot”

“Hands in the middle. Aaaaand dead Barnaby!”

“I’m choking a guy out… with my thighs”

“I smile. In a way that  conveys limitless rage”

“I do not want to be traumatised because of archiving!”

“Won’t someone think of the molluscs?”

“Lilly and Zilly on a wedding adventure”

“Generally I judge things, but sometimes I choke them unconscious”

“The tiny urchins really wanted us to do it”

“No one tell him he has NO SOUL”

“Who is this anthropomorphic mouse?” (It was a child)

“Sorry I tried to fix it with fish”

“I’m going to start a clock that the wonderful mechanical man is working on without any of you”

“Are these children going to be okay?” “We’re they okay to begin with?”

“Stop making out with that brick!” “I’m not- do you know what making out is, Edvard?”

“I let my hatred of stairs get the better of me”

“I’m furious at my forearm.”

“It’s a piece of trash! Looks like something Edvard would make!”

“Mechanical man parts”

“Moving on briefly from infanticide, good job, I just asked you for your name”

“A healing cloak is quite hard to fill so I thought stuff that, I’ve acquired 2 giant goats”

DEADLANDS

“How old are you?” “Old enough. Are you old enough to make good decisions?” 

“No more digging graves for neat, I’m gonna be putting people in graves for money!”

“I had a mule once.”

“That’s adulthood. Being angry all the time, but pushing it down until it’s the right time.”

“Have you ever met someone in your life who doesn’t like jerky?”

“I REMEMBER IT BEING A SIN”

“Let’s hope they’re extremely religious”

“Yeah well Andy’s lying, Andy wants us to fail.”

“I like to drink milk after I shoot two men in the throat”

“Very well then, Mr… not free”

“As you pass by the door, it does clip on the brim of your hat and it falls over your eyes and you can’t see anything.”

“Okay, okay.” *silence* “AAAAAAAH”

“I look at the other one, which seems like his spirit it hasn’t been broken yet 😡”

“I’m saying it nicely but in my head im like: I will kill you later.”

“Not trying to be rude, why do you smell so bad? I’m not trying very hard”

“Contracted late-stage tuberculosis. Got better.”

“Animal that’s been jerked”

“Tell me your life story”

“JERRY WHY”

“Horses can play, and you’re worried about if they can sit?”

“I’ve got a d8, but it’s now -2, because I’m DEAD”

*stabs someone in the eye* “oh sorry, I simply stopped paying attention!”

“Heck. Furthermore, dang.”

“One of the strangulation ones.” “Oh fun!”

“Is sharp rope a thing? WELL SHARPEN IT.”

“Sticky mc bang bang!”

“It was a terrible crime, I cut my lawn and i cut it too short. Anyway I’m to be hanged.”

“The cell is now swarming with ants.” “Yay!”

“Murder, for example, would be a no no!”

“He’s the same old Nate he’s just soft and cold”

[toasterdrake]

Holga: How many children do you have?

Edgin: Biologically, emotionally, or legally? Because there is a difference.

[thebookishwallflower]

breaking news, there’s a new weird line from a dnd podcast that can make me cry!

previously there was “justin you’re my best friend” (still active of course)

and now, brought to you by outlaws and obelisks is,

“it’s a pretty hat?”

“oh yeah, it’s real pretty, it’s got a feather in it and everything”

“oh! aw, i like feathers”

goddamn budge and mariam are after my fucking heart

- first quote is from dimension 20’s mentopolis (i forget which episode)

- the second is from three black halfing’s outlaws and obelisks, episode five